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Ruminations on Sex and Spirit
(inspired by David Deida’s God and Sex)

When I read something very meaningful to me I feel the need to ingest it, to take it more deeply within, beyond the functions of my intellect into levels of permanent knowing. I often do this by writing my ruminations down. I rephrase things in my own personal language that allows the truths to sink in. Here are some of my ruminations on quotes from David Deida’s brilliant book, “God and Sex.”

“Be honest about your fears: neither shrink back from them or violate them by trying to push too quickly through them. Be patient with yourself. Let honesty and Love lead you.”

Growth happens at its own rate. We can’t speed it up. Pushing too hard is another form of anxiety. But we must also be aware of the powers of resistance within us all that are always working to slow us down, or even sabotage our desires to be free. The only way to find the balance is through our own experience. Self balancing is an intuitive state that is developed through life experience. Don't worry about imbalances: just don't passively get stuck in them. Everything teaches us: move on.

“Don’t hide from your deepest heart’s desires or you will not be able to relax into the full openness of Love.”

I believe that when we admit to ourselves what we love and are honest enough to discover why we really love these qualities we will find that everything we love points us back to our own deepest layers of being and our connection with the Infinite Oneness of Existence. When we embrace all we love we give our heart permission to be, to relax, to open, to work creatively and find the balance that allows us to expand in growth.

Our deepest desire is to be wide open to unconditional Love at all times and in all situations and to express this Love spontaneously and freely in meaningful, concrete ways. It is to be open, spacious and free flowing with energy in genuine, honest intent to be Love in all situations of Life.

“There is a natural spontaneous ease and uninhibited power in the core of your being. Open wide, practice opening, and fully relax into this openness.

Whatever you do, do it from your deepest reality, from your higher power, truest self—do it from the Lord who is the strength of Openness, of Nothing. God is always fully present, but muffled and buried beneath the illusions of our wounded nature. To live openly is to let God through as loving presence, peace, as the spontaneous joy of existence.

We cannot liberate ourselves from our neediness or fearful grasping natures. It is only Love without conditions that can heal us, illuminate us, inspire and draw us into its larger perspective and glory of naked, open being that sets us free. Spiritual liberation and maturity is measured by our ability to stay wide open to this Love and as this Love, drinking it into soul and body and freely allowing it to pass through for the blessing of others in all situations.

“A beautiful woman (of body and/or spirit and soul) is designed by God to inspire, energize, and open a man. Feel the essence of a woman, drink her in without clinging, without neediness, without fantasy, and pour the gift she gives you of pure radiance and life-force out freely to others.”

Most men love women’s bodies. We are attracted to a woman’s softness, to her curves, to the potential she offers for silky ecstasy. Of course we are. This is natural. This is how we are designed by the Creative forces of the Universe. This is, very, very good.

Of course we are not attracted to all women’s bodies. We have our preferences. This is partially programming. It may have been written into our DNA codes at an early stage of our development. Nevertheless, it can change. We can fall in love with a woman’s character, her soul, her very being and thus with her body. Not because she is young, with tight smooth skin and high breasts, but because it is her body, the physical expression of someone we love.

Men are more programmed to be attracted to a woman’s image, to her appearance while a woman is often attracted to a man for his character and ability to provide. These are generalities and with generalities there are always exceptions. If a man is powerfully attracted by appearance only, perhaps he needs to fulfill that longing for a woman’s springtime youth, to feel her, to drink her down to the point that he can grow beyond this, to love a woman’s energy, her true emanations. Perhaps he needs to allow this beautiful, fresh energy to circulate through his entire body until he no longer craves to cling to it but rather delights in this fantastic quality of the feminine. Perhaps he needs to learn to pour out the river of wholeness beyond male and female for the healing inherent in it. Perhaps he needs to grow in real love through fearlessly drinking in all he loves and going deeper, riding the free flowing energy into God.

One day we will cease judging each other because we will understand the nature of human developmental needs and how we get stuck and imbalanced when they are not met. And we will grow to respect the mystery of each other’s journey from the eternal, through time and space, back to the eternal because we have fully embraced our own.

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